The water in the well won’t be around forever. It can’t regenerate by itself. On dry season, it’s bound to be depleted for the rain can’t keep up with the demand.
In the office today, I desperately wanted to write. A long post. A short article. Or even a commentary linked post. It doesn’t matter, because I just can’t get the start going and the momentum flowing. Typing this paragraph, it took me a few edits and lots of backspaces just to keep it acceptable.
As with the well that depends on rain, our ability to form words depends on ideas. Ideas that don’t just come conjuring up by itself. Our fuel for ideas hinges on influences from environment, books, websites and other external factors. There’s a never ending stream of possibilities passing by, and it’s up to us to be inspired and to create something.
Typing on the keyboard, the keys felt heavy. I know this sensation. It’s doubt creeping in and the uncertainty that surrounds my past works and future endeavours. Many times before, I reluctantly gave in, knowing that bowing down to it means putting things off for another day. And another day. We always have wars with our inner selfs. Not the voice but the mental block that make sure I’m at a state of confusion and unease. I shrugged it off, telling myself things will get better as the day progressed.
It never got better. In the packed bus, I looked out of the tinted window and the dark clouds passing me by. The weather is cooling and windy, perfect to rest in the house with a cup of coffee and some lemon biscuits. By the side is a notebook and a pen, jotting down phases I don’t want to missed. In a parallel world, this was what I envisioned myself doing. In truth, I was daydreaming as the bus came to a halt.
Shifting slightly inwards, I made way for incoming crowd into a already packed bus. I felt anxious and helpless. My heart was pounding faster, and the tension was mounting. I’m not suffering from enochlophobia, but rather the feeling of not creating was consuming me from the inside. My livelihood doesn’t depend on me writing here, but I felt the strong urge to continue what I have been doing for the past year – to continue writing. Taking slow, timed breathes, I got my composure and sanity back. It’s not the time to think. It’s time to act and inch forward, however small that step is.
So it is with this that I decided to churn out an article of reasonable length tonight. It may not make sense or keep in line with the interests of this site, but life’s a playground. Mintype’s a playground. Give yourself a pat, go off-course once a while and take in the new surroundings. Be assured and curious in everything you do and the mind will stay sharp.
A mind that will always be fuelled by fresh inputs and stories from various sources.
P.S. I wrote this yesterday night, wanted to publish it immediately but pulled out. Not because I thought it’s not good enough, but I have already published an article for the day. It’s good to have drafts in your arsenal, and the past two weeks of my posts have been drafts sitting in there. Definitely comes in handy during times when my head is devoid of inspiration and my hands are not cooperative.